Category: 📁 Soul Jokes

And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth, and won a toaster instead. - Unknown

What did the Buddha say when he walked up to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything. - Unknown

I hate scrabble. You think it's gonna be about the words, but it's just about the numbers. You think you're gonna be playing lagoon, and lambent, or soap. But it's all nu, pi, za, and xu. - Sometimes, Always, Never Movie

Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet. - Unknown

For the past 20 years I've received a Valentines card from the same secret admirer. So I was pretty upset when I didn't get one this year. First my granny dies and now this. - Colm Flynn

I wouldn't want to be a cop in a big city. I think the police have it way easier in small towns. Especially when it comes to investigating crimes. You know, in a big city crime can go unsolved for like 20 or 30 years. In a small town the police are there like "Can you describe the man who robbed ya?" Yeah, he was Dwyane. Go get him. - Brent Butt

On a traffic light green means go and yellow means yield, but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means hold on and yellow means go ahead...And red means where the hell did you get that banana? - Mitch Hedberg

Why is it a penny for your thoughts but you have to put your two cents in? Somebody's making a penny. - Steven Wright

I'm also a writer...I write checks...Mostly fiction. - Wendy Liebman

I remember one year when I told my friend that Christmas was going to be on a Friday. They said I sure hope it's not on the 13th. - Unknown